Regal Beagle Online

Congratulations to North Service

The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been identified as “Sub sequential Internal Non-morality,” more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed. Some of the symptoms include:

 1. Loss of direction

 2. Foul vocal emissions

 3. Amnesia of origin 

4. Lack of peace and joy

 5. Selfish or violent behavior

 6. Depression or confusion 

7. Fearfulness 

8. Idolatry

 9. Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.

The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is:P-R-A-Y-E-R.

Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure.

Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component. 

No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with: 

1. Love 

2. Joy 

3. Peace 

4. Patience 

5. Kindness 

6. Goodness 

7. Faithfulness 

8. Gentleness 

9. Self control 

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (BEST Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus. 

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as toprevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention! – GOD

 P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by ‘Knee mail’! Because HE Lives!

Working for God on earth doesn’t pay much…..But His retirement plan is out of this world!

Here are some key tips for improving our odds of living cancer-free:

• Quit tobacco in all its forms: There’s no secret here that smoking and other tobacco use is the leading risk for cancer and other serious diseases. Cigarette smoking alone is believed to cause about 30 percent of cancer deaths in the U.S.

• Get vaccinated: Certain viruses and bacteria can cause cancer in humans. But there are vaccines approved for use in protecting against infection two such viruses – the human papillomavirus (HPV), which can cause cervical cancer, and hepatitis B.

• Drink in moderation: Studies have linked alcohol use to an increased risk of certain cancers. Men are encouraged to limit their drinking to two drinks a day, and women to one drink a day.

• Maintain a healthy weight: Obesity has been linked to a number of cancers, and being overweight may cause the body to produce more estrogen and insulin, two hormones that can stimulate cancer growth.

• Avoid UV rays: The ultraviolet radiation in sunlight is the leading cause of skin cancers. Take steps to avoid exposure by covering up and using sunscreen with an SPF of 15 or higher.

• Get screened: Common cancer screenings, such as mammograms, colorectal screenings, PAP tests, and prostate exams, lead to early identification and treatment.

These tips, along with staying physically active and eating a healthy diet with a focus on plant-based foods, are our best defense in the fight against cancer.

MR. C AND SAL JR WOULD LIKE TO WISH ALL EMPLOYEES A SAFE AND HAPPY NEW YEAR. REGAL WILL BE CLOSED ON SATURDAY, JANUARY 1ST, 2022. ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAY AND SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!

THANK YOU RAY TAYLOR FOR 20 YEARS AS NORTH ASSISTANT SERVICE MANAGER TAKING CARE OF OUR REGAL CUSTOMERS.

RACHAEL FOLDS	KIA PARTS MANAGER	1-4
BEN KIRKPATRICK	CHEVROLET SALES MANAGER	1-4
LIZZY MORAN	INTERNET SALES	1-5
OCTAVIOUS ROBINSON	KIA SHIPPING AND RECEIVING	1-5
KEN HUCKABEE	ACURA SALES MANAGER	1-7
MELEKE DENNIS	KIA SALES	1-9
WILSON RODRIGUEZ	NORTH SERVICE LOT PORTER	1-9
JOSHUA TATE	CHEVROLET LUBE TECH	1-9
MIKE BARSKE	NORTH SERVICE TECH	1-11
THOMAS FARRIS	HONDA SALES MANAGER	1-12
NIKO GELPI	FINANCE CLOSER	1-12
ADAM WERNER	KIA LOT PORTER	1-13
CHRISTIAN HOWELL	NORTH DETAIL	1-14
BRIAN SHAFFER	CHEVROLET TECHNICIAN	1-16
JASON DUMOULIN	KIA TECHNICIAN	1-17
BRENDEN FALLON	NORTH TECHNICIAN	1-17
JESSICA TORRES	NORTH ASM	1-17
ALAINA SOUTHERN	SAL’S ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT	1-18
PHIL KEMPADOO	NORTH TECHNICIAN	1-19
RONALD ANDERSON	VAN DRIVER	1-20
RICK GADDIS	CHEVROLET SALES	1-23
LEAH GORMAN	P/O SALES NORTH	1-24
ELIE JOLY	KIA DETAIL	1-24
MISAEL ORTEGA	P/O SALES SOUTH	1-24
DIANA ROE	CHEVROLET ADMIN	1-24
PAUL LIEU	CHEVROLET LOT PORTER	1-25
JEFF SOLOJ	KIA SALES MANAGER	1-25
ALEXIS AVILES	KIA TECHNICIAN	1-27
SHAWN MILLER	NORTH TECHNICIAN	1-27
RYAN MORENO	NORTH DETAIL	1-28
ERIC ALLEN	FINANCE CLOSER	1-29

CALVIN BYRD	LOT PORTER NORTH	1-16-2012
AMY MERCADO	ADMIN NORTH SERVICE	1-23-2012
SONNY GLOVER	GENERAL MANAGER	1-7-2013
JORGE BENETIZ	KIA ASM	1-16-2013
RICK GADDIS	CHEVROLET SALES	1-13-2014
MARK BRIGHAM	CHEVROLET TECHNICIAN	1-12-2015
GREG GRADY	NORTH TECHNICIAN	1-12-2015
MIGUEL VAZQUEZ	CHEVROLET TECHNICIAN	1-12-2015
RACHAEL FOLDS	KIA PARTS MANAGER	1-26-2015
ALAINA SOUTHERN	SAL’S ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT	1-25-2016
BEN KIRKPATRICK	CHEVROLET SALES MANAGER	1-15-2018
PETE ROUSSOS	FINANCE CLOSER	1-15-2018
MATT BELL	HONDA SALES MANAGER	1-16-2018
ANGEL DIAZ	NORTH PARTS COUNTER	1-22-2018
BENNY ORTIZ	NORTH TECHNICIAN	1-22-2018
ORLANDO IGLESIAS	SALES TRAINER	1-2-2020
MICHELLE SORONGON	INTERNET SALES	1-6-2020
JEFF BASS	FINANCE CLOSER	1-22-2020
RUSSELL MINX	BODY SHOP MANAGER	1-27-2020
SHYANNE BARNHART	BDC RECEPTION	1-11-2021
RYAN KEENEY	NORTH LUBE TECH	1-11-2021
AHMAD ZAYYAD	CHEVROLET LUBE TECH	1-11-2021
CHAD SUDDRETH	P/O SALES SOUTH	1-16-2021
DARRYL GAYLES	CHEVROLET TECHNICIAN	1-18-2021